Comptroller and Auditor General: Government turns blind-eye to States-funded bodies

Following on from her report into the Jersey Innovation Fund, ahem, “situation”, the Comptroller and Auditor General has now reported more broadly on the government’s relationship with States-funded bodies.

As readers will know, States-funded bodies operate at “arm’s length” from the government, purportedly running their own affairs but receiving government money to do so; last year, £38m was handed over to such “arm’s length organisations” (ALOs). A happy wheeze that also keeps ministers at “arm’s length” from being accountable for public money.

Unfortunately for the government, the latest report concludes that ALOs aren’t being overseen properly and management arrangements are consistently “not fit for purpose”. Amongst the other ball-breaking criticisms, the report finds that:

- there are no clear review policies;

- there are no guidelines on the number of board members or how much they should be paid; and

- formal arrangements for governance and oversight are patchier than Les Quennevais School’s roof.

Given that public money pays for organisations such as Jersey Heritage, Visit Jersey and Digital Jersey, the government might like to know if it’s being spent effectively. Luckily for ALOs, having “Jersey” rather than “Department” in the name means they can merrily hose themselves in taxpayers’ money. Open season!

Eddie Noel talks solid waste in JEP

Eddie Noel has written a letter published in Tuesday's Jersey Evening Post, defending the introduction of the 'waste charge' (aka 'Shit Tax'). Opposition to this has come from the big Jersey hotels - who are running to tight margins anyway - and who, because they have lots of rooms, will be handed massive waste bills which will cripple their balance sheets unless they raise prices. Hotels will have to charge tourists for taking a dump.

Nevertheless, the popular Infrastructure Minister blithely writes that this States decision is fair because it is based on the principle of 'user pays'. Although if the users end up closing, the plan won't make the Treasury any money.

In response to the hospitality industry advising that they can't afford it, Noel has highlighted the decision to phase in the tax, which means that only 50% will be levied in 2018. But the full amount will still have to be paid by businesses in 2019, and many will have to pass it on to the consumer in order to stay afloat. In the case of hotels, this will simply make it more expensive for tourists to come to the Island. Expect to see even less hotels in Jersey after 2020.

JDC paying £760k to rent UBS's old offices

Channel 103 have reported that the Jersey Development Company are paying £760,000 to lease the former offices of UBS in New Street until June 2019. Apparently JDC has confirmed this was part of the deal to get UBS to move into the International Finance Centre.

JDC has since refurbished the New Street offices and is advertising them for rent for the remainder of the lease period. JDC needed UBS to fill part of the Esplanade so much that they're now paying £760k in rent for UBS's old offices.

Geoff in the Gallery: A satirical look at the States sitting of 21 June 2017

Wednesday morning saw the debate on the transfer of asylum and deportation responsibilities from the Lieutenant Governor to the Minister of Home Affairs. This passed without difficulty but not before Reform Jersey had provided some amusement to members in the form of Dep. Montfort Tadier (Reform, St Brelade No. 2).

Tadier, whose recent house-move outside the parish he represents suggests he might be looking for another seat at the next election, opposed the transfer of powers by employing rhetoric which at times wouldn’t have looked out of place in The Office as words uttered to camera by David Brent. In particular, gravely telling members that transferring asylum and deportation responsibilities to the Home Affairs Minister would be a “logical fallacy”, was straight out of the Slough paper-merchant's phrasebook.

The general consensus among States members is that this change won't be a big deal, given the relatively low amount of asylum and deportation cases which the Island currently deals with. Irrespective of this, Monty did his best to back up his opponents’ argument - and shoot down his own in the process - when he made the admission that the only Jersey asylum case he had heard about was the one everyone else has; the one of the Iranian bloke who turned up in a car boot at the harbour last year but was later granted asylum in the UK because he had stayed too long to be sent back to France. Tad regaled the House with a story of how he had taken the unlucky Iranian out to lunch in St Brelade’s Bay, ostensibly to show him “a beautiful corner of our lovely Island” (at least until a few apartment blocks pop up down there). After the obligatory shoe-horning of a recent UK event into the debate - this time the Grenfell Tower disaster for some reason - Brent/Tadier then moved into top grandstanding gear to show the House what a caring, right-on chap he was, asking fellow members rhetorically, “Are brown/black lives inherently less valuable than white British lives?” However, he quickly realised that he'd taken a shit with his clothes on by implying all British people were white and hastily added “or non-white British lives?” as an afterthought.

After letting the House into the world of Monty the Tour Guide, Monty the Politician unfortunately resurfaced in his reference to Jersey being “caught with its pants down” over the Iranian asylum case. Unparliamentary language? Maybe, admitted Monty. Maybe, indicated Dep. Geoff Southern (Reform, St Helier No. 2). Unfortunately, the correction was equally as terrible as Tadier suggested that Jersey had been “caught short” over the issue (well, at least we had taken our pants down first).

The main thrust of Tad’s argument was that although, in his own words, he was “not a monarchist”, he would nonetheless keep the “reassuring” presence of the Lieutenant Governor in the Assembly and he would rather keep deportation out of the political arena, leaving the responsibilities to be dealt with by someone who is not either a politician or answerable to the people. This placed Reform Jersey in the rather unusual position of being a left-wing political party defending the right of an unelected, unaccountable and unqualified Lieutenant Governor to sit in a big house on St Saviour’s Hill ruling on which people get to stay in the Island, without any personal consequences attached to his decisions.

Things became even more surreal in the Chamber when Tadier suggested that the reason Dep. Kristina Moore (St Peter) could not make asylum or deportation decisions as Home Affairs Minister was because she may be a Senator in future (eh?) or even Chief Minister (approbation from one member). According to Monty, this would mean members of the public would approach her in the supermarket to ask “why are you keeping all these foreigners here?” (Monty needn’t worry; politicians listening to constituents? It’ll never catch on.)

After some more guff about appeal mechanisms and human rights which even had Southern yawning in the seat next to him, the learned Montfort concluded by saying he was “suspicious” of any move from a tried and tested method which works and he didn’t see the need for change (spoken like a true conservative).

Much of the rest of the day was taken up in committee, debating the Jersey Innovation Fund balls-up. Being in committee, the debate in the House was more insightful than usual but, given this was about the Innovation Fund, it also meant severe overexposure to Sen. Philip Ozouf. When called upon to speak Ozouf launched into self-justification mode to defend himself as expected but, given that he’s been sat outside the headmaster’s office writing lines on most things he’s touched in his 18-year political career, this time it felt more like a Greatest Hits collection.

Sounding like a man trying to cling on to his job, instead of one who had already been bin-bagged the morning before, Phil did his customary angry-spider impression for over an hour, getting the claws out on his former colleagues in the Council of Ministers on several occasions. Eventually, with the time approaching 4 pm, the Bailiff told the Senator he was repeating himself and saved members from listening to much more from the Ozouf back-catalogue of self-pity. Contrite as ever, Ozouf whined that members hadn’t taken seriously what he was saying and he felt he was being doubted by some in the House (though why he felt keeping them stuck in the Chamber on a baking hot afternoon in June would change their minds about him is anybody’s guess).

Time after time, when giving way to fellow members, Sen. Ozhuff flung himself back into his seat like a sulky teenager whose parents have said he can’t go on a weekend away with his mates. Phil also spoke of how he’d learnt more from the Innovation Fund fallout than he was previously told, but he couldn’t take the blame for an accounting officer who one is unable to “hold to account” (that means “sack”, for those who aren't familiar with Phil-speak).

All that was left for Ozhuff was to fall back on the politics of good intentions, complaining that he had tried his best in an impossible situation. He ended by insisting he was happy to be judged on his actions and to take responsibility, but that taking “responsibility” did not necessarily equate with him being to “blame” for anything that had happened (not that he’s ever to blame for anything else either). That’s the name of the game for Teflon Phil; responsibility without consequences. Maybe one day he’ll end up as Lieutenant Governor handling asylum and deportation cases in a Reform Jersey government…

 

Geoff in the Gallery: A satirical look at the States sitting of 20 June 2017

 

Like most legislatures, set-piece political events usually bring out the worst in the States Assembly; members, combining the sense of occasion with their own self-worth, believe they must speak in these debates but, in reality, only a few actually have something to say. So it was in this context that members met for an extended session of oral self-indulgence in Tuesday’s Vote of No Confidence debate on Sen. Ian Gorst’s political future (or at least, for his next 11 months).

With temperatures outside topping 30 degrees, a number of members including Dep. Geoff Southern (Reform, St Helier No.2) and Sen. Philip Bailhache opted to wear light suits more appropriately worn in the yacht club or for hunting in the Savannah. However, the only hunting on display had taken place earlier in the morning when Sen. Gorst decided not to accept the resignation of the man he had only recently appointed, Sen. Philip Ozouf, and sacked him instead; a truly courageous effort to take out the main thrust of his opponents’ argument against him.

Despite this, and to avoid resembling the Grand Old Duke of York, Const. Chris Taylor (St John) ploughed on with his proposition, setting out his case against the Chief Minister regardless. But before any political blood pressures could rise in response to the Constable’s case, members were sent out for the customary one-and-a-half hour lunch (does anywhere else outside of France have lunches this long?) and an opportunity to see/step-over the quaint, sparsely populated protest against Gorst in the Royal Square.

Suitably refreshed, and with everyone having forgotten what the debate was about, members returned to hear the Chief Minister mount a spirited, self-immolating defence where he acknowledged his failings by admitting he was not good enough at listening or communicating. Having helpfully highlighted his weaknesses, one might have expected his political opponents to seize the moment, hammering away at them in an attempt to build political support. Instead, it was a procession of Council of Ministers’ members who lined up to stick the boot into their embattled CM. Amongst these, Sen. Alan Maclean agreed that “we all make mistakes” before, in a bizarre abrogation of collective responsibility, he confessed to the Chamber that he didn’t like every decision made by the Chief Minister and his colleagues (such as bringing back Ozouf maybe Alan?). Jersey’s own minister of futility, Sen. Paul Routier, also got up after a sustained bout of note-taking and proceeded to say very little of note, wittering on about children in the community and that last refuge for a local politician who can’t think of anything to say; Brexit. Here, Sen. Routier also chose to embark on a spot of self-flagellation, telling the House about his own decision-making weaknesses in office (but on the plus side, at least you are perceptive Paul).

In opposition, one of the proposers of the debate, Dep. Simon Bree (St Clement) criticised Gorst, as an Englishman, for being responsible for the “Anglicisation of Jersey” and claimed he was “dismantling all that’s unique about Jersey”. He then made his own pitch for Gorst’s job, showing the House how clever he was by quoting a lot of famously quotable people; from Abraham Lincoln to Cicero via Edmund Burke (twice). Even Dep. Judy Martin (St Helier No. 1), sat next to the hapless wannabe CM, managed to crack a smile at yet another quote following the second reference to the father of modern conservatism. (Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg address was famously short in length but long on content; a sentiment which some States members will hopefully aspire to in future.)

Once Bree had finished going through the best bits of everybody else’s speeches, Dep. Rod Bryans (St Helier No. 2) stood up and, like the previous speaker, also referred to Abraham Lincoln (clearly he's an icon amongst bearded deputies), this time favourably comparing the 19^th century president, statesman and noted orator who held a divided United States together to the present Chief Minister of Jersey. After members had passed the sick bucket around, Sen. Sarah Ferguson continued in her role as a one-woman crowd dispersal unit, during which fellow septuagenarian Sen. Bailhache appeared to be asleep.

Mercifully, Dep. Murray Norton (St Brelade No. 1) told the Chamber at the outset that he was going to keep his speech short. He began by criticising a speech he wasn’t present in the Chamber for (Bree’s), choosing to interpret his Englishman Gorst comments as an anti-immigrant attack. Norton reminded members that he was an immigrant, before saying how it was wrong for the St Clement Deputy to bring immigration into the debate and how Jersey was an island of immigrants who should all be welcomed. With this spectacular piece of virtue-signalling now complete, Norton proceeded to speak for the rest of his self-allotted two-and-a-half minutes by first delivering his own back-handed compliment to the Chief Minister, describing him as “well-meaning”, before telling his fellow members how the public are “sick of us talking about ourselves”. This statement was met with enthusiastic nodding from behind by Norton’s colleague in the unofficial Media Personalities’ Party, Dep. Peter McLinton (St Saviour No. 1).

More moral outrage towards Bree came from the Constable of the famously cosmopolitan, diverse parish of St Mary, who also felt she should tell the House just how welcome immigrants are in Jersey. Others, meanwhile, felt they would make better use of their moment in the spotlight to serenade the Chief Minister by saying how great he was (most notably Sen. Andrew Green).

In the end, sometime around 8 pm, a vote was taken and predictably the no-confidence motion was defeated by 34 votes to 13. Gorst kept his job, his ministers kept their jobs - apart from Ozouf who he'd already sacked – and after almost seven hours of political indigestion, the proposers hadn't gained any more support for their cause than they'd had at the beginning of the day. But with temperatures above 30 degrees outside, it's reassuring to know that honourable members weren’t feeling left out and had managed to create their own hot air inside the Chamber...